sal_amanda | On Catholicism and Godparents

I'm a Catholic. I'll admit it. I used to be a much more practicing one. Sure there are issues within the church that I don't agree with, but I have always found comfort in its weekly traditions at times when I was feeling lonely or like an outsider. I was actually super involved in my college church, though it was also different than a standard church. And I went frequently when I was teaching in Jamestown as it was soothing to belong in a place where I really didn't fit in. Plus I like to sing.

I have fallen away a bit, though. When I was in Vermont, I worked retail and never had a weekend day off so I got out of the habit. I got more spiritual than religious. When I got home, I was juggling work, school, and internships so it was still a struggle to find time, and I got even more spiritual than religious. I belong to my local church here, but I suppose I've turned into a bit of a C & E Catholic - you know, the ones who only go on Christmas and Easter. I do occasionally go otherwise, but I'm out of the habit now. Additionally, I like to go and really just be by myself, which with dwindling numbers should be easy, except I go to the only church that is actually expanding to the point where they have to build a new and much bigger church. It's too crowded to feel like I'm having an individual experience, though I really like the church otherwise.

The point here is that I'm planning on raising the kid and any future others in Catholicism. Maybe not to the point that we were raised in it, but to go through all the basic stuff. I want my kids to have an open mind and learn about other religions and spiritualities, but to have a basis or starting off point, on which to make their eventual decisions of where they want to go with it.

So the baby will be baptized Catholic. This means godparents needed to be found. Not an easy task, mind you. Despite the fact that nearly everyone I know has been raised Catholic, there's not so many who are still practicing. And still others were never Catholic at all. This ruled out some potential candidates.

In the end, though, I think we have chosen the perfect godparents for the firstborn.

The godfather is Adam. Adam is the ultimate Irish Catholic guy. Goes out drinking, stays out late Saturday night, but is always, without fail, at mass the next morning. He's a traditionalist in many areas. He's also the most loyal human being on the planet. I would say that we have had a unique friendship over the years and there is no one in the world that I would trust more than him with even the most important things.

The godmother is Kim. Kim and I go way back to junior high. We were extremely tight for a long time and then sort of moved separately, always staying in touch through e-mail, and then sort of rediscovered that on our separate paths, we've come to similar viewpoints, and have gotten back to being close. Kim is an open-minded Catholic like myself. She also is more spiritual than religious, but can take comfort in the traditions of mass. She has the same disagreements with the church that I do and likes to explore other options of what's out there, as well as maintain somewhat regular attendance.

Thus, I'm pleased.

But I had worried about future godparents with the lack of Catholics out there. However, I have since discovered some loopholes. First, I heard recently from busybusymama that maybe only one godparent needs to be Catholic? I haven't verified this, but that's potentially good. Second, I was recently skimming the "God Squad" column in the Saturday paper that's written by a priest and a rabbi and came across some startling information. The Catholic church is actually okay with your kid being baptized somewhere other than a Catholic church, as long as it's done by a Christian and that the child is then still raised in the Catholic church. I'm stunned by this, but thrilled, as there are other people that John and I have talked about wanting to be godparents for future children, but weren't sure we'd be able to have. Now, with the possibility that we could have the baptism held at a non-Catholic church, that shouldn't be a problem.

I know, I know. With all these stupid rules, why should I bother? It's a tradition I consider important to me. Like I said, I want to give the kids that base and then let them make their own decisions.