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i subscribe to the Amherst Bee, not because i think it's hard hitting journalism, but because i love the police blotter. these people in the burbs just find the silliest things to call the cops about. usually, though, it's just the way they're written that amuses me. in today's issue, they have the best from all the Western New York Bees. i can't possibly put all my favorites here, but here are some of them:
*Security personnel at the Home Depot detained a subject who allegedly put brass nipples in the pocket of his jeans and exited the store without paying for the merchandise.
*A subject was charged with assault after allegedly striking a woman twice on the head in an attempt to bless her. A neighbor said the same suspect shook her in a March incident when he rang her doorbell to talk about religion and she asked him to leave.
*Keppler Music Center was taking inventory after a white male was seen running north on Briarwood Drive carrying a guitar.
*An 18-year-old son hosed down his mother with apple juice and cola at their home.
*A bumper was left at the scene of a hit and run with the suspect's license plate still on it.
*A male was arrested after breaking into a store on Walden and then getting stuck inside.
*A mother-in-law was not wanted in a house in Amherst. [and i swear this wasn't us]
*Seven deer around a caller's car would not let her get near it.
*Several youths "higher than kites" were reported on Gualbert Avenue.
and my personal favorite:
*A lime green, 350-pound statue of Buddha was reported stolen from a lawn on Como Park Boulevard.
*Security personnel at the Home Depot detained a subject who allegedly put brass nipples in the pocket of his jeans and exited the store without paying for the merchandise.
*A subject was charged with assault after allegedly striking a woman twice on the head in an attempt to bless her. A neighbor said the same suspect shook her in a March incident when he rang her doorbell to talk about religion and she asked him to leave.
*Keppler Music Center was taking inventory after a white male was seen running north on Briarwood Drive carrying a guitar.
*An 18-year-old son hosed down his mother with apple juice and cola at their home.
*A bumper was left at the scene of a hit and run with the suspect's license plate still on it.
*A male was arrested after breaking into a store on Walden and then getting stuck inside.
*A mother-in-law was not wanted in a house in Amherst. [and i swear this wasn't us]
*Seven deer around a caller's car would not let her get near it.
*Several youths "higher than kites" were reported on Gualbert Avenue.
and my personal favorite:
*A lime green, 350-pound statue of Buddha was reported stolen from a lawn on Como Park Boulevard.
